What was on TV? Sun, May 8, 2005

20 years ago, America told everyone they captured an Al-Qaeda bigwig. Turns out he was more of an Al-Qaeda middle-manager. Whoops! (He's still in Guantanamo by the way). Let's see what was on TV.

7:00 King of the Hill on Fox

9x14 "Bobby on Track"

I played soccer as a child. Then one day a ball came flying at my face and I flinched, as I jerked forward the ball bounced off my head. I was shocked when the coach congratulated me; it was my first header! I quit the team soon after.

This episode spoke to me. This episode speaks to unsporty kids everywhere. Bobby Hill ends up on the track team, but only as a "stick." The coach threatens to sub him in for players who misbehave or slack off. Pole vaulter smoking a cigarette on the sidelines? Bobby will jump over your pole after he's finished failing at hurdles. The potential humiliation is so great that the team starts winning everything. Hank is delighted at first, finally his son is being sporty! But of course he is horrified when he discovers the truth. Bobby sees things differently, he's part of the team, he's the motivator!

I was enchanted. I actually pumped both my fists in the air in a touchdown pose when Bobby got his letterman jacket in front of the whole school. And then the episode ends with Bobby having to sub in in a real relay race, and Hank's big motivational speech made me tear up: "all you have to do is put one leg in front of the other, and don't stop until you cross the finish line."What happens next is predictable, but only a heartless person would care.

This episode is kind of perfect. Bobby Hill forever.

7:30 Malcolm in the Middle on Fox

6x21 "Buseys Take a Hostage"

In the cold open of this episode, Reese watches his mom's favorite soap, pretends to misbehave when Malcolm walks in, then goes back to the soap. It's very sweet, and a perfect cold open as summer approaches. Summer is when kids watch soaps, I should know, I was one of them. I wish kids could still watch soaps in the summertime. I learned a lot about the world and about storytelling by watching Passions and One Life to Live. I'll have to watch at least a few episodes of my old favorites over the summer. And hell, I didn't watch much All My Children (it was on too early, I could never get home from summer gigs in time). But Michael B. Jordan was on the show in this era! From Wallace on The Wire to soap star Vince on Friday Night Lights to two-time Oscar nominee and proper movie star is quite the journey, and I want to experience every piece of it.

9:00 Deadwood on HBO

2x10 "Advances, None Miraculous" (record Desperate Housewives on ABC and Mystery! on PBS)

Oh my god they killed the kid. They saved the middle-aged man with dubious morals and killed the kid. Damnit. The scene where he dies is bad, but the scenes of everyone in the bar and throughout the town just sitting in silence just destroy you. Deadwood is a famously verbose show, so silence really stands out.

I'm excited about the return of preacher Zach Grenier! This season is all about capitalism coming to Deadwood, it's only right that religion should follow.

10:00 Grey's Anatomy on ABC

1x07 "The Self-Destruct Button"

George and Izzie's continued ignorance of the McDreamy affair was starting to strain credulity, what with them with Meredith and all. So it's a good thing they find out in this episode.

Izzie and George both have interesting reactions to the news, reactions that further develop their characters and the show's themes. George is of course jealous. He has a crush on Meredith and now she's screwing the brain surgeon. At first he infantilizes her, wants to believe that she's fallen under the power of a manipulative superior. But as he works with Shepherd on a risky case involving a toddler, he finds it impossible to hate him. Shepherd is great with the girl and with her very nervous and overwhelmed parents, and he makes sure the entire procedure is paid for, no worries. But things take a turn when he realizes that the anesthesiologist is drunk on the job. In typical Grey's fashion, George's anger the anesthesiologist's drunkenness serves as a proxy for his anger at Derek's perceived irresponsibility. It all ends with a tense confrontation between him and Derek. He still can't hate him, and his concern for Meredith is still condescending, yet he's also right. Derek sleeping with Meredith is irresponsible. And not because she's helpless. Because he's in a position of power and she is not, so she will be the one who suffers the consequences of this relationship. We see that quite clearly in this episode: flack from her resident, resentment from her peers, Meredith takes it all. All Derek has to worry about is some stray looks from George.

Meanwhile, Izzie is frustrated with Meredith's privilege. She seethes about it all episode, then spells it out quite clearly when she and Meredith are alone. Izzie grew up in poverty. She went to a state school, and everyone at the hospital has seen pictures of her in her underwear. Meredith has everything: wealth, a famous surgeon for a mother, an Ivy League education, and the respect that comes with it. And now she risks throwing away what Izzie will spend her whole career striving for. Of course, once she realizes that Meredith is driven not by ambition or lust but by real feelings for McDreamy, she gets to pity her and ply her for sexy stories, and she feels a lot better.

11:00 Desperate Housewives (recorded)

1x21 "Sunday in the Park with George"

There's lots of drama in this episode. The truth about Mike is revealed and he and Susan reunite, the great Harriet Samson Harris reveals the truth of Mary Alice, George is being weird with Bree, Carlos is being evil, John the gardener is being a dumbass...actually, a lot of this drama is business as usual. The drama in the show's big Vanity Fair cover story was way more exciting. More on that at the end of the post.

What Else Was On

• CBS premiered its splashy Elvis miniseries, starring Jonathan Rhys-Meyers as the King, Randy Quaid as Colonel Tom Parker, Rose McGowan as Ann-Margaret, and Camryn Manheim and Robert Patrick as mother and father Presley.
• Before they were famous: Tessa Thompson played a cross-dressing 1930s lesbian who falls in love with a bootlegger on Cold Case! She got murdered but reunited with the older version of her lady love (Piper Laurie) in a fantasy sequence (or maybe the afterlife? I can't tell).
• Special Sweeps Guest Stars: Joel Grey on Crossing Jordan, Piper Laurie and Marla Gibbs on Cold Case.

TiVo Status

2 episodes of Mystery! 2 hours.

TV news, 20 years ago

The ladies of Wisteria Lane graced the May 2005 cover of Vanity Fair, and the accompanying story is absolutely delicious. The shoot was filled with drama. With Teri Hatcher receiving most of the press' attention to this point (the Golden Globe, the Barbara Walter special, etc.), people were anxious that she not be favored. There's a true panic when she gets first pick of wardrobe, and instructions that she not be placed in the center of any group shot. ABC didn't want any swimsuits (too racy, I guess). Yet everyone chose a swimsuit except for Felicity Huffman, who chose a dress that could easily be mistaken for a swimsuit.

Writer Ned Zeman clearly had the time of his life recounting all the drama. Multiple times he lists all the women's names and then assures any publicists reading that they're listed in alphabetical order or by order of appearance. Put your phones down. Kayleigh Donaldson wrote an excellent summary and retrospective of the story in her newsletter if you're interested. The story is worth reading in full, though. The prose is delicious and dishy, but the article is also a triumph of structure. It builds and builds to the photoshoot. We get all the backstory as the tension rises and rises, before it's time to pose for the cameras and the drama is unleashed:

When Cross saw that Hatcher was beside her in an eye-popping cherry-red bathing suit, she exploded, grabing her bathrobe, and walked off the set.

"[Enabler!]" Cross thundered. "Get your fucking ass over here now, and do your fucking job!" Informed that the Enabler wasn't allowed on-set, Cross shot back "I don't care if it's a fucking closed set! You get him over here!"

Hatcher just stood there, doing her best to work with the situation. Did she not know about ABC's positioning stipulations?

The Enabler came running from around the corner. "I don't care what [Mark Seliger, the photographer] says. Whatever the talent wants goes."