What was on TV? Wed, April 27, 2005

20 years ago, America had been watching the Michael Jackson trial for two months, making bad jokes and disrespecting victims the whole time. And there was over a month of testimony left! Let's see what was on TV.

8:00 America's Next Top Model on UPN

4x "The Girl the Lionesses are Hunting"

And now we come to Top Model's issues with fatshaming. Poor Keenyah is eating too many snacks. And well. Two weeks ago, she watched the host completely lose her shit and scream at another contestant. One week ago, another girl found out her friend died and she was told to get in a coffin and channel her pain into a photoshoot. God forbid a girl stress-eat. And yet the show shames her, making her portray the "gluttony" in the seven deadly sins photoshoot last week and an elephant in this week's animal-themed photoshoot.

Tyra claims this isn't about the show, this is about the fashion industry. They won't tolerate fat! And that was definitely true in the fatphobic 2000s. But on the other hand: it's not like any of these girls were going onto careers in high fashion! With three seasons on the books, that was clear. So why not create a new image of what a model could be? Top Model was always best when it was totally unmoored from reality. Real models don't feed giant bears the way the girls do in this episode, and they also don't walk runways with cockroaches or say words like "pot lodem." Yet Top Model's greatest strength was its embrace of such nonsense. It would have been a better show, artistically and morally, if it truly abandoned all pretense of preparing these girls for the world of high fashion. If it truly did that and embraced contestants who didn't fit the rigid standards of high fashion, it would have stood a better chance of actually changing the world of high fashion instead of always chasing it.

I was also amused to see that it's raining in LA here and in last night's episode of The Shield. It famously rained in LA the week that The OC episode "The Rainy Day Women" aired; these episodes were probably both filmed that week.

9:00 Alias on ABC

4x17 "A Clean Conscience"

Finally, a great episode for Dixon and Carl Lumbly! He gets to do a fun voice and a fun spy mission. He reconnects with an old military colleague and gives a big speech about how getting married and having kids made him understand the true cost of violence, and it made him better at his job. And then there's a super tense moment where he has to choose whether to shoot his old friend to appease the villain of the week. And Carl Lumbly kills it, he is so good. It doesn't make up for the way this show wasted this great character and actor for years and years, but it's a start. Please never let Dixon disappear again. This show needs him!

Also, Victor Garber has a mutation from nuclear radiation and his hand is falling apart and it's super gross and awesome. I love when Alias embraces horror. And Michael McKean is the doctor telling him he's doomed! I will be so pissed if McKean doesn't return, he fits perfectly into Alias. And now I wish Victor Garber had appeared on Better Call Saul.

10:00 The Staircase (recorded)

1x07 "The Blow Poke Returns" and 1x08 "The Verdict"

We think of the true crime boom as something that happened after The Staircase. But in these episodes, we see multiple characters reference the coverage of the Peterson trial on Court TV, and we are reminded that true crime is nothing new.

But true crime is rarely this good. For one, real life is often ridiculous, but true crime often fails to capture this in its thirst for sensationalism. Yet here is The Staircase, with an episode titled "The Blow Poke Returns." Enough said.

And then there's the final moments of the episode, when Michael Peterson is convicted. And the argument that put him behind bars was so ugly, it's hard to cheer even if he is guiltly. It's hard to cheer as we go through the lengthy process of confirming the verdict as Peterson accepts it stoically and his family sobs. Peterson is driven to prison and his family sits in his house without him. There is no attempt at catharsis or any grand statement. We don't need it. Director Lestrade understands there is no certainty here, and he trusts us to find that truth for ourselves.

What Else Was On

ABC aired so many Lost recap specials over the years. It killed two birds with one stone: casual viewers could get caught up quickly, and hardcore viewers would tune in hoping for clues to the show's big mysteries. Tonight's recap special was called "The Journey."

Late Night

I love that you can always tell when Conan really likes the movie a star is promoting. Most of the time he sticks to the prepared script from the studio. And then sometimes you'll watch an interview like this one with Ellen Barkin and when he throws to the clip he goes on a tangent and you realize that he really liked Todd Solondz's Palindromes.

TiVo Status

The TV movies Sucker Free City and Everything You Want, and two episodes of Mystery! 6 hours.

Music, 20 years ago

The Staircase got Jocelyn Pook, a great classical composer most famous for her work on Eyes Wide Shut to compose the soundtrack. Her original score is perfect.